If the shoe is too tight, it's too tight!

I’D wanted a pair of yellow shoes for a long time. I just could never get the right shade of yellow and when I did, the size wasn’t right. It wasn’t until the other day when we visited my favourite shoe store that I finally got my yellow shoes. But before the purchase was a whole lot of drama. As we walked into the store, one of the store attendants rushed to our service. She asked what we were looking for and I politely said we were just looking at the shoes. That was my first mistake, I should’ve just told her we were looking around and went to the counter when we were ready to buy. So when I made my shoe intention known, she asked what kind of dress I wanted to wear the shoes with.

I wasn’t looking for shoes to wear with a particular dress – that’s never a reason for me to buy a pair of shoes. I prefer having the shoes and then decide what they work best with. Shoes, I believe, make or break an outfit – you just have to get them right.The store attendant started pulling out all sorts of shoes for me to try on – even those that were not in my size. She played the “some are big cuts” ticket on me. I was slowly getting agitated because I wasn’t really interested in all the shoes she was showing me. I just wanted my yellow shoes, which at this point she had given me a mustard pair which was a size too big.

The store attendant insisted that was the only pair of yellow shoes they had and I should try a light blue pair. The blue shoes had a shorter heel than I’d prefer but the design was just right. I really didn’t mind the light blue but the shoes were a little too tight. My feet were never going to stretch that pair. I hear a lot of people saying “it will stretch with time”. Wrong. It never does. Never make the mistake of buying a pair of shoes that’s not your size in the hope that it’ll stretch over time. That will just cause you unnecessary chest pains and put you under pressure to wear the shoes simply because they cost you money.

And you know very well what happens when you wear shoes a size too small. If you’re lucky to make it through an hour, after another hour you’ll be walking like you’ve got thorns in your feet. That would be the least graceful walk ever – you’ll look like a new born calf trying to find its feet. Besides the ugliness of it all, your ankles are badly affected by the ill-fitting shoes. They’ll have to contend with so much pressure as you try to relieve the pressure off of your toes and heels. You don’t need that kind of drama in your life, really.

After the store attendant tried to convince me to buy the light blue shoes, I decided I’d had enough. This was not their money, it wasn’t their feet and they definitely wouldn’t be stuck with an ill-fitting pair of shoes. I decided to have a look around the store myself, and guess what? I spotted the perfect yellow shoes. The shade of yellow was just right and the fit was tailor made for my feet. I just thought to myself – had I not decided to have a look around myself and had I let the store attendant do the picking for me, I would not have found my yellow bliss.

Stop relying so much on the store attendant. Remember, they’re trying to push sales. They’re in business and they really don’t care what happens to you after you leave the store – well, most of the time. Be honest with yourself – if the shoes are too tight, that’s it. They’re on your feet and only you can decide whether or not they fit. The same applies with clothes; look at yourself in the mirror and decide whether or not that clothing item works for your body. Don’t let the store attendant tell you it looks good when the voice in your head is telling you it looks crappy. May your shopping choices in 2017 come from a place of honesty. Take control of your shopping experiences and don’t buy rubbish!    

A classic groom never goes wrong...

Sulumani Chimbetu and his new wife, Linda

So, Zimbabwe Dendera king Sulumani Chimbetu wore a yellow blazer over a royal blue waistcoat and a baby blue shirt with a yellow bow-tie to his wedding.

He has always had an extravagant taste in clothes – very flamboyant and flashy. I can’t say I was surprised by this look and I certainly wouldn’t recommend it to anyone else. I think it was a bit too much but Sulu being Sulu can get away with these sorts of wardrobe choices unscathed. Well, until he wore a Bluetooth earpiece and said he was just trying to spice up his look. I’ll take a pocket square or a buttonhole, but an earpiece, come on, whose call are you expecting to take while you exchange nuptials! Not shy from a little ex-wife drama, Sulu got married and if his wedding pictures are anything to go by – the man seemed happy – about his wife, his yellow blazer and his Bluetooth earpiece. Similar to Sulu, I saw one extravagant groom on Instagram who wore a maroon plaid suit whose white bold stripes made him look like a heap of Tshangani bags. You know those, right? The colourful chequered carrier bags used by cross boarder traders to pack their stuff in. But they’re not just for that.

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Whenever we visited our rural home, my grandmother, Gogo MaKhuboni would pack sweet potatoes, maize, ground nuts, round nuts and all sorts of traditional foods in a Tshangani bag for us to take back home. The bag is such a multi-purpose one people will even chide each other saying “You like things like a Tshangani bag”. That’s how this guy looked like – as though he was wearing a Tshangani bag. I wondered if his wife had approved of the outfit or he had been like one of those grooms on Our Perfect Wedding who want to surprise their brides with their outfits. That’s a risk no bride out there should ever take – insist to see your groom’s suit way before the wedding. Unless your groom is David Tlale or Craig Zoowie, please don’t take the risk.  You might end up with a groom wrapped in a Tshangani bag. Think of how disastrous your wedding pictures would be!

Wedding fashion has continued to evolve over the years. We’ve seen men getting married in African print Kaftans, Indian traditional dress – the Sherwani, military regalia and all sorts of styles you can think of. I won’t even start with the white blazer trend. It’s so over done! Every man getting married wears a white blazer over a white shirt and a black bow-tie with black pants and black shoes. Those who pair this with white shoes; I really don’t know what to say to you. White shoes with black pants are just plain murder – you can never look classy in that, no matter how hard you try! If anything, you look like Jojo the clown. Even Michael Jackson knew to wear black shoes – the shocks would be white but the shoes were always black.  

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I think my mother is right on this one; grooms should just go with the classic colour suits – black, grey and navy blue. You may think these are boring but they’re exciting ways to dress these suits without looking like it’s another day at the office. And trust me, nothing looks hotter than a man in a well put together suit. For example, you could decide to make navy blue the focus of the outfit or you could simply use it to accentuate another colour. You could wear a grey pair of pants with a matching grey plaid waistcoat, a white shirt, blue tie and a navy blue blazer, to add some vavavoom to the grey base. This would go very well with a brown pair of shoes, a brown belt and a grey, blue and white pocket square. Remember, detail is everything – you’ve got to accessorise. The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is the little “extra”, they say. Whenever you decide to go plaid, pay very close attention to the squares, the lines and the colours of your plaid piece.

Choose one colour from the weave of the fabric to accessorise the rest of the outfit. On the flip side, you could wear a navy blue pair of pants with a white shirt, a navy blue bow-tie and a grey, white and navy blue plaid blazer with a matching waistcoat. This is slightly flashier than the former outfit but it will work. The goal should always be to achieve a classy look, something flawless, easy on the eye and definitely Kodak moment friendly. If you’re getting married this December, there’s still hope for you. Do it right and believe me, you’ll still be admiring your wedding pictures 20 years from now.      

It takes a certain kind of man…

OUT of interest, I asked a friend if he owned a pink shirt. He didn’t, he said. I asked why and his response was two-fold. First, he said his complexion wouldn’t go quite well with pink and secondly, he said pink was for rich men. He said “it took a certain kind of man” to wear a pink shirt and look good in it. I argued that the likes of rapper Desmond “Stunner” Chideme and Zimbabwe Style Icon Craig Zoowie effortlessly rock pink shirts but neither of them are light skinned per se. I wouldn’t know about either their bank balances but don’t crucify me for saying they probably don’t sign off millions at a time.

My friend’s argument was baseless, I thought. He probably just didn’t like pink and would feed his mind with all sorts of theories about why a pink shirt wouldn’t be any good. Pink is a good colour which transcends both genders pretty well. You certainly don’t have to be rich to wear pink. Maybe your complexion counts but not so much. Pink is one of those colours which will make a woman look at a man twice, just to see if he wore it right. So it does matter what you’ll pair your pink shirt with and what shade of pink it is.

Blush pink is obviously more luxurious than ceres or hot pink. Hot pink could actually be beyond hideous on a dark skinned person – it would become somewhat the battle of the colours –blue-black complexion against a hot pink. To be safe, I’d say go for a more subtle pink, something that would be easy on the eye.You could pair the pink shirt with a number of basic pieces. For instance, a navy blue blazer over a pink shirt and khaki chinos with brown shoes and a matching brown belt would be a smooth business casual look.

A pocket-square would be an excellent addition to the look – women like men who pay attention to detail. A pink shirt would also work pretty well with a black, grey or navy blue suit and a matching tie. With a black suit, black shoes are more ideal while navy blue and grey could swing quite easily with brown shoes. The secret lies in always making sure the shoes and the belt match. This creates a sense of cohesion and obviously looks neater.Pink is such a delicate colour that if handled well, would give you a super clean look.

I see a lot of men pairing their pink with brown and sometimes baby blue. Now, that takes a certain kind of man to pull off! You’d need apples of steel and your confidence levels would have to be at 100, almost bordering on arrogant to do two bright colours at once. But this isn’t quite your everyday look. It would work for a wedding or when the invitation card says “Dress To Impress”.

I saw a picture of a man in a black and white plaid suit with a white shirt, a navy blue tie and a matching pocket-square and was convinced it truly takes a certain kind of man to pull off certain clothing items, a pink shirt included. The man has to be clean and well-groomed. He has to pay delicate attention to detail. The man has to carry some aura, the kind that would leave you convinced he has a seven figure bank balance, even if he doesn’t.

Rule #1: Never wear white to a wedding

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AS wedding season approaches, please don’t be the girl who tries to upstage the bride by showing up in a white dress. If you don’t already know this, age-old wedding etiquette doesn’t allow you to wear white to a wedding – unless if you’re the one getting married. It’s pretty simple the way I see it. It’s her day, not yours. It’s probably the only day she’ll ever look as flawlessly beautiful, be the centre of attraction and you go ahead and spoil that for her! Come one now, don’t be the party pooper – the bride probably spent most of her life dreaming about this day, she spent months planning for it and maybe a fortune paying for it then you spoil her day by showing up in a white dress.

The bride should get to stand out on her wedding day, and one of the ways she does this is by being the only one wearing white. Let the big day be about the guest of honour – the bride – and save your white dress for a special occasion that doesn’t involve vows. The only exception – the only one – is if the bride and groom specifically request that their guests wear white. Only then can it be acceptable for you to wear white. You may argue that the cut of the dress is nothing close to what a wedding dress would look like but you could be the only one who may think so. For the avoidance of stepping on any toes, try by all means to stay clear of wearing white.Of course you can wear something with white accents but don’t get carried away and let your dress steal the bride’s thunder.

 

Source:Jason Porshe

Think of the royal blues, red, yellow, olive, peach, black or even African print, which is a great way of achieving a dramatic but classy look you can take to a wedding. There’s so much to do with African print material – if you plan your look in good time, you’ll be the best dressed guest to ever walk the face of the earth. Jumpsuits have recently become acceptable wedding attire although they’re really not a personal favourite. I just think dresses are the easiest way to look classy. Depending on your body type and what generally tickles your fancy, go for a dress that will show off your legs or your upper torso – not both at the same time. If it’s going to be a maxi dress, bring some sexy back with a flattering bodice and if you’re showing off some leg, go for a more covered up bodice. This way, you create the perfect silhouette and won’t seem like you’re trying too hard. If you can avoid it, don’t wear jeans to a wedding. Weddings are for girly dresses and pretty shoes. Shorts are a definite no-no; you really don’t need me to tell you that!  

 
Stay clear of T-shirts and flip flops, please. Men are the biggest culprits when it comes to showing up for weddings in T-shirts and jeans. We know this is probably not your scene but at least look like you’re trying. You don’t even have to wear a tie – a decent suit, a crisp white shirt and a pocket square will do the trick. This is assuming you have a decent pair of formal shoes and belt. If you’re not into the suit look, a pair of chinos and a good shirt will do. You could go the easy road by wearing a black shirt on black pants and black shoes then throw on a blazer. The blazer could be as elaborate as you would like – to brighten up the all-black affair. Depending on how romantic you are – you and your better half could wear coordinated outfits. Your dress could pick up on some elements of his outfit. For example, if your man is in a royal blue suit, brown shoes and a brown belt, you could wear a dress in the same shade of brown with a nude pair of shoes. I see a lot of people going the matching African-print outfits’ route. That’s also cool – anything to make sure you don’t wear a white dress!

Don’t deceive that brother with make-up!

BACK in varsity was a girl who wouldn’t step out of hostel without the right amount of make-up on. She would turn a lot of heads with her ever flawless face. We were jealous of her beauty and popularity and felt she didn’t deserve it – you know how quickly anything can become a competition in varsity. Most people had actually never seen her without make-up but she couldn’t fool us all. The haters were always lurking. We knew exactly what the “real her” looked like but we let her flourish.  I was reminded of this girl a few days ago when I saw a meme with a before and after of some woman who had had her make-up done to the nines. 

I could relate to the transformation – it was as though they were two different people. She had gone from zero to 100, it was unbelievable! But that really shouldn’t be the case. We’re all beautiful in unique ways and should embrace our individuality. Make-up is meant to enhance your facial features not deceive people by making yourself look like a completely different person. You wash your face and bam – there’s a whole new you – how mean is that? Of course your face and how you decide to “dress” it are an important aspect of your everyday life because it’s the first port of call when you come into contact with people. But when you decide to wear make-up, understand why you’re wearing it. It better not be to win over that brother because when the lights go on and your face is all washed up, things won’t be so cute when he discovers how you really look.

The goal should always be to look as natural as possible. We all have different skin tones and textures so our make-up needs are different. Before you start applying anything – ask yourself if you’re trying to cover up some acne, you’ve uneven skin tone or darkness around the eye – whatever the scenario, know your reasons for wearing make-up. They’re some people who don’t need foundation; just some concealer under the eye, around the nasal fold and a little bit of powder, lip gloss and mascara to lift the eye and it’s done. Concealer is used to brighten up the face and “conceal” certain dark patches which drag down the face.

Foundation should be applied only on the areas it’s needed. If you’re not wearing foundation to cover something, you’re wearing it to highlight. Your concealer and foundation should be the same pigment as your skin so that it blends well. Always be honest with yourself and get the right shade – nothing looks as hideous as a yellow bone looking face and charcoal hands and feet! The brow is a big one when it comes to doing the face. That’s when women’s different “drawing” abilities come out. Not everybody was born with a perfect brow so to enhance their features, a significant number of women try to mix it up a little but it doesn’t quite come out right between the tweezing and “drawing” them in. You need to see a professional who’ll understand your eyes and the shape of your brow in order to trim them well enough for you to be able to fill them in yourself.

 

Do tutorials if you have to. It’s actually not that difficult – I’m proud to say I’ve learnt to fill in my own brows and it takes me a few minutes to do my face. Make sure your brows don’t turn out blue-black. They should appear as natural as possible and you can achieve this by using an angling brush to fill in the brows as opposed to using the liner directly onto the brow. Mascara is important because it makes the eyes pop. Most of us have curly lashes, making it difficult to put in the mascara but instead of using the whole brush, just use the tip of the brush, from the inside going out.

If your eyes are really small, don’t wear liner under the eye because you’ll end up with dark circles. I’d just stay away from fake lashes if I were you – they’re hideous. Lip stains are a convenient way of keeping the lips plush. You apply the lip stain, lipstick over it and it’ll last the whole day. You could even wear the lip stain on its own and have your lips matified – if you don’t already have matte lipstick. There’s no prescribing what lip colour to wear – it’s a personality thing. Whether you go for a bright red or a nude lip is entirely up to you.