GIRL, LOVE YOURSELF!

I WAS driving home the other day and couldn’t believe my eyes just as I parked outside our gate.

From my rear view mirror, I could see a guy and a girl – they looked cosy and I concluded in my mind they were probably a couple. It’s how the girl was dressed that I couldn’t get over. It was around 5PM and she had a towel wrapped around her waist, she wore an old light brown pair of pantyhose on her head and a clumsy white T-shirt.

I sat in the car for an extra minute as I got over the shock but before long, I was asking myself 21 questions as they walked down the road together. Where on earth was she going dressed like she just woke up? Had she even taken a bath? If she had, why was she still in her towel and sleep headgear at 5PM and strutting the streets like it’s nothing?

Was that her boyfriend and if it was, wouldn’t she like for him to see her dressed in some decent clothes with her hair combed? Here I was asking myself all these questions with no one to answer them. I watched in awe as they slowly walked down the road but purposed in my heart to never be the woman who gets out of the house let alone the yard after 12 noon still in my nighties and sleeping head gear.

I’ve seen in some neighbourhoods, women walking all the way to the shops to buy bread and milk in their nighties and I’ve often wondered how a woman who loves herself can do this. Some often say, “It’s just the shops, what’s the big deal?” Yes, they’re just shops but you have a reputation to maintain. Imagine the people you might just meet while you’re out there with a stocking on your head.

With some women, they may not necessarily get out of the yard in their nighties but they keep them on for way too long. At 2PM visitors come to your house and find you still in your pyjamas! Unless you’re sick and bedridden, there’s no excuse for you to still be in your nighties after 10AM and you still haven’t taken a bath. Taking a bath and getting into a decent set of clothes should be one of the first things you do even when you have nowhere to go. 

I remember when we were kids, taking a bath was such an occasion you wouldn’t bath unless you were going somewhere. My brother and I played outside a lot and wouldn’t get into the house unless our mother summoned us to eat or to take a bath. If bath time came up before 4.30PM, we would need to know why we were bathing. There must have been a destination requiring us to wear “town clothes” if we had to bath during the day on a school holiday.

This should never be you. A grown woman who loves herself will always make sure she’s cleaned up and well put together even if she’s got nowhere to go. Your spouse can’t even tell you you stink and need to take a shower because they love you too much and don’t want to hurt your feelings. Save them the hassle and do the right thing. Even when you’ve showered, being at home doesn’t give you the ticket to dress anyhow. Of course you won’t wear your Steve Madden heels and Levi’s jeans but do pick a decent set of clothes – nothing with holes or unsightly for anyone who might visit you. I know you’ll be at home and want to feel comfortable but comfort doesn’t mean you wear trash.

Invest in pretty “home” clothes like cotton T-shirts, shorts and airy dresses that will let you live. They’ll be comfortable and roomy but also give you that fresh “chillas” look when you get unexpected visitors. Nothing is as embarrassing as needing to shower or get a change of clothes while your visitors sit in the lounge waiting for you. Imagine that untamed hair being what someone experiences when they come to visit you. Surely, slay queens also keep it on a style low when they’re at home.

Maybe Zodwa just doesn't like visible panty lines...

Zodwa Wabantu

It’s amazing how whether or not one woman steps out of the house wearing a panty has been on the national agenda. South African entertainer Zodwa Wabantu has been all over the news because the government doesn’t want her to perform panty-less at the ongoing Harare International Carnival.

 

I’ve been trying to think how she became so popular in the country to begin with and now we’re so worried about whether or not she wears panties. It must have been her appearance at Durban July, South Africa’s premium horse racing event that really got people talking.

She wore a red dress with slits running all the way up to her waist. The bulk of her legs were bare for everyone to see but it was one curious journalist, I assume, who brought our attention to her undergarments. There was no way she could’ve been wearing lingerie under that dress otherwise we would’ve seen the seams of the panties at least. Her biggest mistake was probably then blatantly saying she doesn’t wear underwear at all. 

 

I think her reason was that she doesn’t like it or something. But we’ve also never verified if indeed she doesn’t wear underwear. No one has ever seen for sure that she doesn’t. She just said she didn’t and people’s imaginations ran wild. I’ve seen a couple of her pictures and videos and to be honest, she’s just a woman living her life probably with French knickers on for all we know! 

Maybe it’s such a big deal whether or not she wears undergarments because she’s become a celebrity of sorts but women go panty-less all the time. I’m not one of them who could walk out of the house with no undergarments but it’s actually more common than we think. And it’s simply because someone doesn’t want visible panty lines. These can be really distracting and I honestly understand why one would want to get rid of the panties all together. 

Visible panty lines can kill your vibe and you really don’t want the whole world seeing what underwear you have on. I know there are seamless panties, G-strings and all sorts of underwear that can help eliminate visible panty lines but these don’t always work. Well, they may work but like me, maybe a G-string is not your thing. I’d rather walk around with visible panty lines than wear a G-string! Hey, don’t judge me – comfort over everything.

Just the other day, a friend of mine was complaining about how the material of her dress showed every crevice of her body. The dress was pretty but it needed some smart underwear to be flawless. So she decided to wear her pantyhose panty-less and guess what, no one would have ever known she wasn’t wearing panties unless she said it herself. 

The visible panty line struggle is real. Sometimes you don’t even realise its showing. But it’s no excuse; you absolutely need to make sure your bottom is seamless before you step out of the house. You could put together the perfect outfit but it’ll all be ruined when you realise that your panty lines are visible through your clothes. Even though it happens to every woman out there, you should aim to avoid them as often as you can. It’s not that hard to do, as long as you know what causes them.

You can avoid those pesky panty lines we all hate by buying seamless underwear. It helps wearing thicker fabrics with more texture which help mask whatever lumps and lines might be lurking underneath. You could try layering with tights or pantyhose. A thin pair of tights or pantyhose should smooth out any lines you might have and they won’t add any bulk to your look.

There’s a reason professional stylists use G-strings exclusively. They might not be as comfortable as good old granny panties but they work. G-strings are not as bad as long as they’re not too tight and they’re not peeping through your waistline from the back. That’s just the worst! If you’ve ever been on a commuter omnibus, you’ve come across a woman sitting in front of you with a peeping G-string.

It gets worse when she attempts to get off the kombi or make room for someone else to drop off. Make sure that person is never you by ensuring your G-string isn’t out there for everyone to see! If thongs just aren’t your thing, try boyshorts. They go under the butt cheek instead of cutting across it. A little lace is also good for making the lines less abrupt and not so noticeable. Just make sure it’s a flat lace so it doesn’t look lumpy under tight clothes.

You could also get shapewear, which are great for seamlessly smoothing everything out. Whatever your choice of outfit, save yourself and the people you’ll encounter some visible panty line drama!   

The comfort zone isn’t always safe

Rumbie Takawira (Photo Credit:Online)

We have a new Miss World Zimbabwe. Chiedza Mhosva was crowned queen and walked away with a cool $20,000 and a car from the glamorous pageant held in the capital last week. With an entrance charge of $300, the Miss World Zimbabwe pageant is nothing but glitz and glam. The who’s who of this country attend the pageant and so showing off A-list threads is a big part of the event. People go out of their way to slay, you know, show off their financial muscle. 

Those who’re not really into fashion and wouldn’t ordinarily go the extra mile to look good don’t have a choice. The organisers of this event don’t allow anyone not dressed to meet the prescribed dress code into the venue. I’d say that’s extra but standards are standards. They want excellence, we’ve got to oblige. But one of the things that bothered me about the pageant was the look chosen by the host of the night, Rumbidzayi “Newsbae” Takawira. She wore a black dress with a fitted v-neck bodice and a tutu skirt. Rumbie wore her hair down and paired the look with black heels. She’s beautiful, she has a figure to die for but quite frankly she looked rather ordinary in that black number. 

It didn’t help that she didn’t have any outfit changes during the four-hour show. It was all the more terrible that she hosted the event solo. It eventually got boring seeing her in that black dress. I get what she was trying to do, I really do. Black is safe. It’s easy to dress and you’d really have to have a terrible sense of style to mess up a black number. But for Rumbie, who’s largely considered as a media personality, black was probably not the best pick for her. Especially considering that she wore a black gown to the National Arts and Merit Awards earlier in the year. 

No, we haven’t forgotten about that. It would seem she’s not confident enough to try new things, which I doubt very much. With her stunner looks, she could probably pull off any colour! She’s just too snug in her comfort zone and that’s not a good thing. Rumbie got me thinking that there’re quite a lot of us who’re hung up on certain colours. We’ve filled our wardrobes with clothing items of largely the same colour because they are safe. How about go out of your comfort zone a little bit because in fashion world, your comfort zone is not always a safe place to be. 

I’m not saying wear a yellow suit with orange suit like it’s nothing. How about you spice up your usual blacks with a little colour? Instead of your usual black and white combo, why not throw in a red or yellow pair of heels. I do this all the time. I don’t get to wear vibrant colours every other day but I like to throw in a bit of colour to spice things up a little. Your work set up probably doesn’t allow freedom with colour but instead of your usual nude lip gloss, why not try a bright red lipstick. 

On your next shopping trip, instead of buying another navy blue dress, why not buy a floral or polka dot one. This is how you grow your wardrobe. When you’ve accumulated the basics; a little black number, a white shirt, a black blazer, blue jeans and a black skirt – try the more elaborate pieces to spice things up a little bit. Then we’ll know you’re not boring and will definitely consider you as one fashion savvy chicca. Try it and see the reviews you’ll get. You can thank me later.

High Teas And The Fascinator Glam

I’VE been invited to attend a High Tea next Saturday.

The invitation said to wear my prettiest dress, killer heels and a glamorous fascinator. I’ve never been to one of these but from what I’ve seen from different social media platforms, High Teas are all about the glitz and the glam. They’re all about embracing femininity and looking pretty. And nothing says “womanly” like a pretty dress and heels. But, my first problem is that I don’t own a fascinator. I’ve never worn one let alone own one but I’m told they cost about $15 for a basic one and the price goes up as you go for something fancier. 

If you’re lost, a fascinator is a headpiece, a style of hat. They come in lots of different colours and I’ve noticed how many women like to match them with their shoes and bags. It’s the right thing to do actually. Problem number two is that I don’t have a High Tea pretty dress. Well, I’ve got a black number but I’m not quite convinced this will work. It could, with a red fascinator and matching shoes but it seems the British are a little more elaborate than that. I’m thinking maybe floral, polka dot or a pattern of some sort and then pick out one dominant colour for the fascinator and shoes. This would surely say glam! 

Of course going elaborate could go either way but I think every woman has the right to try out more feminine pieces aside from the subtle black, navy blues and greys. In case you’re wondering, in Britain, the drinking of tea not only became a social event for the upper classes, it altered the time and manner in which they took tea. Afternoon Tea became the bridge between meals because many wouldn’t eat their evening meal until maybe 8PM. As such, Afternoon Tea became a “mini meal” in itself. This was all well and good for the upper classes, but the working classes ran to a different schedule and a different budget. 

Tea was still quite expensive at the time and the working classes could not afford to waste it on anything other than necessities. A wearied factory worker wouldn’t arrive home until 6PM, and when he did, he was famished! So, in the industrial areas of the United Kingdom (northern England and southern Scotland), the working classes evening meal evolved and became “High Tea”. English High Tea usually involved a mug of tea, bread, vegetables, cheese and occasionally meat. Variations on High Tea could include the addition of pies, potatoes and crackers.

 

So, while Afternoon Tea was largely a social event for their upper class counterparts, High Tea was a necessary meal in the 18th and 19th centuries. This traditional High Tea still exists in some parts of the North and Scotland. So, what else can you wear to this fancy meal? You can still have fun with bold prints and bright colours, but maybe keep the shape and style of your frock more traditional. A High Tea is a fun, feminine way to spend your afternoon, so even if you’re not normally a girly-girl, an invitation to a High Tea gives you an excuse to bring out the inner “lady”.

 

Be sure your dress is not too short or too revealing. If you choose to wear pants, a nice blouse with a simple cardigan would work well. Avoid wearing T-shirts, ripped jeans and shorts. Avoid wearing flip-flops, open-toed sandals or running shoes. Where these might be perfectly acceptable in other informal meal situations, general conventions and sensibilities dictate that these are inappropriate for functions that aren’t taking place on a beach or at the gym. For High Tea, women should wear flats or heels.

Whatever you decide to wear, be sure your outfit is clean and free of any stains or wrinkles. Where some may overlook a creased skirt or a cardigan missing a button, these things can be interpreted as poor etiquette to those who attend such events. Be sure your outfit is neatly put together and your accessories are not too loud. For most such gatherings, conservative outfits with tasteful accessories are appropriate to wear.