How do you say – “Honey, you stink!”

I HAD a rendezvous for sundowners with an old friend after work some time ago.

On that particular Thursday, I’d been busy all day and really hadn’t had the chance to sit down and catch my breath let alone freshen up.I only wear make-up on special occasions and the rest of the time just make sure my eyebrows are on fleek and my lips are well moisturised so I didn’t need to powder my face. It was my deodorant I was hoping wouldn’t let me down. The clock hit 6PM so I left work and went straight to where we were meeting. Of course I sniffed my armpits a couple of times – for control purposes. But I honestly wasn’t sure they smelled fresh enough. Naturally, you start worrying if the next person can smell what you smell. I was a little late – time keeping is not one of my strengths – so I found my friend waiting for me. As I was walking towards the spot she was perched at, she stood up to greet me with a hug. 

As she did, her first remark was, “What fragrance are you wearing, you smell really good.” I was beyond shocked. I couldn’t believe it – the plan going to the rendezvous was to make sure I kept to myself and ensured my underarm odour didn’t diffuse too much by keeping my arms at ease at all times. At that moment, I opened up and told her how I was actually worried my armpits were losing it a little bit. She could relate and said, “Relax girl, you’re preaching to the choir – you smell great!” I was relieved. Nothing sucks like someone realising you stink and they can’t even tell you. I mean, how do you look someone in the face and say, “Honey, you stink!” It’s a difficult thing to do but sometimes useful, for them and for yourself. 

Imagine you’ve got your weekend swag on and are headed to a hot date with your better half. He comes to pick you up and leans over for a hug but when he does – all hell breaks loose! That would be such an anti-climax for me – that Ralph Lauren shirt over residual sweat. How about some Hugo Boss or Givenchy? Too expensive? Okay, how about Avon, Axe or just plain old Nivea roll-on. Maybe the other person doesn’t even realise they don’t smell too good – what do you say to them? Do you say, “Honey, your armpits don’t smell so nice” or do you buy them toiletries as a gift. Of course it’s so much easier if it’s their mouth that smells, you simply offer them peppermint sweets or gum and hope they don’t decline. By the way, it’s a two way street. Maybe it’s your woman whose personal hygiene is questionable. She slays but you feel uncomfortable going anyway with her because of her bad odour or smudged lipstick and scruffily applied foundation. There’s no easy way of telling someone to pull up their socks but I’d say focus on the end game. Appreciate constructive criticism, especially when someone is coming from a place of love. If they buy you toiletries as a gift, accept them with no questions asked and most importantly make good use of them.   

It goes without saying – you can’t look fresh and not smell equally good. Having your wardrobe game on fleek just isn’t enough; you’ve got to be clean, look clean and smell clean. You probably think I’m crazy but on a real, how many people have you come across who look good but their image is tainted as soon as you smell their breath or armpits? I know we all think we’re clean and have our personal hygiene in check but you can never been too sure. You need to check yourself and don’t leave the next person with the dilemma of how to tell you that you don’t smell too good.