Fashion at a funeral

Photo Credit: The Grown & Classy

MY aunt would not attend a funeral service for my late uncle without a fascinator on her head.

It had to be a black one, to match her black suit and court shoes. There was a black clutch bag to go with it all.

We all refer to her as Mai Thatcher, likening her to Britain’s first female Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher.

She got the nickname for being a powerful and meticulous woman.

She’s generally organised and quite precise.

Mai Thatcher likes pretty things when it comes to fashion – she’s never on the downside of her wardrobe.

So she would not leave her car to get into the church service before the person who was sent to buy the black fascinator delivered it to her.

She issued out instructions from her car until the fascinator arrived.

It came wrapped and boxed.

Of course she had to look pretty while mourning the death of her husband. I was shocked for days and couldn’t understand why the fascinator was so important to her.

But she later mentioned, passively, that it was because she didn’t want to embarrass her husband – even after death.

That’s consistency, which comes with respecting yourself, the people around you and your brand as a person.

I had never thought much about dressing up for a funeral for obvious reasons.

You’re mourning or celebrating a life, you really don’t have the time to fuss about fashion.

For years, it was always an African print cloth around the waist, head gear, a pair of strappy sandals and I’m out of the house.

But I was wrong. Grief should not be reason to look scruffy and unkempt. A little effort while you pay your last respects for the dead has never hurt anybody.

The bottom line, of course, is looking as conservative as possible and being stylish while you’re at it.

Black, navy, grey or other dark colours usually appear more conservative. Revealing clothes are not appropriate, as some churches prefer shoulders and knees to remain covered.

Leave your flip flops, Timberlands and athletic wear at home. Opt instead for more sensible and appropriate shoes.

Remember to polish those shoes. Don’t wear scruffy shoes to a funeral. It’s disrespectful.

Dress as you would for church and if you don’t go to church think about what you’d wear to a job interview.

Avoid sundresses, unless you have a wrap or are under 12.

Celebratory patterns on shirts like martini glasses or wild prints, or anything too flashy should be left at home.

Imagine showing up at a funeral with a T-shirt written “DOPE” in bold gold. No one will ask you but best believe they’ll gossip about you.

They’ll refer to you as the guy who came in a “DOPE” T-shirt or the girl whose back was exposed for all to see.

You know those old ladies – they’ll even give you something to cover your shoulders to save the family the embarrassment.

A black dress with sleeves, dark suit with a jacket or a dark blouse with a skirt will do.

It is possible to wear a not-too-brightly coloured dress under a black coat.

Consider the temperature and dress accordingly. Men can opt to remove their jackets for anything outside but should at least wear them inside for any services.

Some do not believe that funeral attire should be strictly black.

While the person’s death should be grieved, it seems also appropriate to celebrate the person’s life with some colour.

Don’t wear anything too colorful like lime green or neon yellow, purple, or yellow but perhaps red or a pale blue.

Gentlemen, wear a black suit with a white shirt and accessorise with a long, neutral necktie. Think twice about wearing too much jewellery.

There’re always exceptions to the rules. A blue or grey suit with a black shirt and a tie will do.

If you’re a pallbearer, you should expect to wear a suit or a dark blazer at the very least.

A pair of shades wouldn’t hurt anybody. Just make sure you wear them outside only.