Men love mystery...

THE conversation began after a friend complained about his girlfriend showing up for a lunch date in a crop top, a pair of leather leggings and sneakers. The crop top, he said, resembled a bra and the leggings left absolutely nothing to the imagination. This is what stuck with me. He said, “I wish girls knew that men love mystery, it’s not sexy anymore when everything is out there for everybody to see.” Of course that was profound but just how covered up should one be. Where do we draw the line, if at all there’s a line?

I later posted a picture of a girl in a maxi skirt right up to her ankles, a long sleeved blouse, headgear, sun glasses and high heels on Facebook. I thought she was a little too covered up but a couple of guys who responded to the post didn’t agree with my sentiments. One of them said he loved the sophistication behind the boldness in fashion “conservatism” and the statement the girl made in the colour combination plus the sexy finish with the dark “Panther-ish” shades. I was stunned that a man would view the outfit that way, especially because the girl wasn’t showing any skin, at all.

I was quite chuffed by the analogy. Another guy said he loved the confidence in trying out new things, moving away from the “skimpy figure hugging dresses we always see around”. He said “conservatism” was put to the test and “the chic nailed it”. He went on to say he’d introduce any “proper chic” dressed like this girl to his folks. Of course I was even more impressed because I personally don’t believe dressing skimpily translates to looking sexy.

It doesn’t, if anything, it makes you look cheap and trashy. So I asked these gentlemen if it’s true that men love mystery; that they like to wonder what’s underneath as opposed to it being handed to them on a silver platter. One of them said, “I’m jealous and I don’t like sharing so, yes. What’s mine is mine alone.” That’s understandable – no one wants to ride a village bicycle. Of course the ladies had something to say in their defence. One of them stepped in and said the girl was “too covered up”. In her defence, she said the weather only would determine whether or not the outfit would be appropriate.

Only if it were cold would it be appropriate, she said. Of course that made sense; you need an airy something when the sun is out.It wasn’t until I spoke to my go to guy about the debate that I realised people are conflicted about this. He asked why I was suddenly interested in “conservatism”, which was to be expected. He was quick to point out that the destination determines whether or not an outfit is appropriate. He was spot on. I surely can’t show up for work or church with my cleavage spilling over. That would be so distracting!

Of course I can’t show up at a pool party dressed in a maxi skirt and a polo neck sweater either. People would think I’m weird! But I certainly can’t walk the streets in broad daylight in a pair of bum shorts and a bikini bra – you can imagine the commotion! I can already imagine those pirate taxi touts making a spectacle of me! My inclination is on being appropriate. Before leaving the house, think your outfit through. Think about where you’re going, who you’re going with and the people you’ll meet while you’re there.

You can’t slip into a mini skirt and start pulling it down once you reach your destination. That’s distracting and definitely not sexy. Don’t be the girl that goes to an exclusive restaurant on a lunch date in a crop top and a pair of leather leggings, save that for your night out on the town.